Comments on: India’s Miserable Singles

By: Bhaveen Sheth

Bhaveen Sheth — Fri, 15 Jan 2016 18:27:16 +0000

Hi. Nicely written article. I am single and choose to remain the same. I have dedicated a blog for single men in India. It is titled as the diary of the single Indian male.Please go through the link below:

http://bhaveensheth.blogspot.in/

By: Jagdeep Kaur

Jagdeep Kaur — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 17:57:18 +0000

In reply to Bharati.

First time I heard this. Biologically wired to cohabit? Nope…it is a societal thing. Society has wired the general public’s mindset so. What we are biologically wired for is sex, and the sheer enjoyment of it. Sadly, in Delhi I guess, it’s difficult to come by for single people. And I feel it is a Delhi thing…the hai-i-am-single rona-dhona. I have lived in Pune, Mumbai, Hyderabad and for a very short while in Bangalore; single people love being single and enjoy it thoroughly. I am single, and I love my single life. 🙂 And I have m-a-n-y single friends who have no interest in “sharing” life with anyone. 🙂

By: Global Indian

Global Indian — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 09:12:47 +0000

Such a lovely piece! Can identify with it and also the concept of “to each his own”.
The French – and expectedly so – have had a fairly liberal attitude towards “marriage”/cohabitation and even in “live-in relationships”. Rooted in the Rousseau-an concept (is there such a word? otherwise pardonnez moi) of “Man is born free..”, they carry their iconoclasm from the body politique to art to the boudoir.
I also loved the ‘reply’ about “Indians marching from Point A to B” et al. 🙂 When will be allowed to chose our own life partners (or not), since we’ve been colonized from within for so long.
Yes, Simla is a lovely sojourn – for the bohemian artistically inclined Indian 🙂 Another famous one, Amrita Shergill produced her greatest works in its balmy air.

By: sanjay austa

sanjay austa — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 07:45:55 +0000

In reply to Seema Sangita. Agree with many of your points Seema. But the act of searching (for anything ) takes away the joy of enjoying what you have.

By: sanjay austa

sanjay austa — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 07:45:20 +0000

In reply to Mukul Sheopory. Mukul thanks.. do remember to ring me up if you plan to loiter around Shimla smile emoticon

By: Rashmee

Rashmee — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 07:41:24 +0000

And not to mention that people jump on Shadi websites even before the ink on the divorce decree has dried. Fourth meeting is at the green card weeding!

By: Seema Sangita

Seema Sangita — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 07:40:51 +0000

This article does make single people sound miserable. You even call it an affliction. But come on, I don’t think its this bad.

Searching for a life partner does not mean that one is miserable with current state of life. Or that people are trying to date primarily to conform to the ways of society. If this conformist narrative was correct, all the women you met at that party would have been married at 20 and had half a dozen kids by now.

I am happy single and just as happy meeting potential dates. There are joys of being single and also joys of being in a state of committed relationship. And there are difficulties in both. The fleeting feeling of happiness or unhappiness is there in both situations. Also, the hard work of keeping life together is there in both situations. Mostly it is sweet destiny at work – some find the right life partner, some don’t and some find several right people! Hence, being single does not happen by choice or strategic planning.

And the thing about not depending on others for happiness – I think it is important for all regardless of relationship status.

By: Mukul Sheopory

Mukul Sheopory — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 07:40:21 +0000

Very well written article Austa! I think there is a certain “Indianness” to conforming.. Not just for shaadi, but also for naukri.. In the US and Europe you see people taking a year off after college or between jobs to travel. We Indians rarely do that. Taking a break voluntarily from an ‘acchi naukri’ would be considered blasphemous by society. It may be a remnant from our Colonial and License Raj past where there were a handful of good jobs that thousands of Indians fought over. Alas, we Indians are confined to marching in a straight line from point A to point B to point C..

Someday I’d like to take a few months off to travel around the world, or maybe just spend the few months loitering around Shimla..

By: Ratnesh Mathur

Ratnesh Mathur — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 07:39:19 +0000

Chummery – thats the old english concept, which the corporate world incorporated until the explosion of the IT/e-world converted corporate perks ( & thereby corporate cultures) into all-cash compensation deals. But the “Chummery” was the singles home. And I can think of some “gentlemen” who emerged single from the Chummery & continued their bachelor status, living with a butler to assist with their home needs. Relocate to London & join the Pall-Mall Men only clubs. In Delhi, join the Free-Masons society & revive the lodge to its past days of glory at Janpath & Civil Lines.

By: Ayesha Dahra

Ayesha Dahra — Wed, 08 Jul 2015 07:38:34 +0000

Great write-up! very current! I also liked Bharati’s reply to it…what is natural should be embraced. However it should be each to his own. We create our own happiness in each space. Whether Single or Double :-)),..if ‘Doublehood’ does not give happiness then be single and be happy! Cheers!